some ‘guide to being upset’ i saw on another webpage

Few moments ago I read something quite amusing ahahahah!

Ever had that itch to post something on social media but decided not to because people will prod and pester you? Ever had the itch to post some really emo (but really cool) thoughts but decided not to because you worry that others will worry (lol) incessantly? I know there are some of you out there, oh yes I do. You may think that ‘no one truly understands me’ or that ‘no one would really care about me’ but I am here to tell you otherwise – I’m just like that too.

Fear not! Here’s a guide to writing emo stuff on social media and not look too suspicious:

So.. To do so you will need first and foremost, the content. To be honest, it’s really up to you what you wanna write (hey, it is your life after all, so… wadevs you like, right?), the only requirement is that it sounds really emo, and it would be even better if it rhymes and makes you sound like a very vulnerable and layered soul. For this example let’s just use err.. this:

Put me in my place,
So I can snap out of this daze.
Cut me down to size,
So I can stop feeding me lies.

… Seems legit don’t it?

And then you just dress it up real nice to deflect attention. There are a few ways to do this, but today I’ll just talk about probably the most common way to do this – make it sound like it’s not really you who is expressing that view. Give them the illusion that what you post is merely a quote, or a repost of something you found interesting or worth pondering about – AND NOT WHAT YOU ARE PERSONALLY THINKING. THIS INGREDIENT IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL to protect yourself from the annoying prods that you don’t wanna get.

But hey, you secretly do kinda want it don’t you? See, I understand you so well!

NEVERTHELESS, maintain the facadeeeee! You can’t let them knowwww! Don’t let them in… don’t let them see… Be the good gir- Okay sorry I digressed.

DON’T let it go. Whenever they ask you, ‘hey hon, saw your post on fb last night, what’s the matter, is everything alright?’ Remember:

‘It’s from a website!’

‘It’s from a book!’

‘It’s from a song!’

‘It’s not from me.’

‘What website?’ – Sorry I forgot.

‘What book!?’ – A really obscure one that you probably haven’t heard of.

‘What song!?’ – Oh it’s just some lyrics my friend wrote.

The possibilities are endless. You can even frame them up to be something else entirely, it’s up to your imagination! Maybe a guide? Or even a repost of a guide which for some reason you forgot to cite? It’s up to you!

Alright good luck and sayonara!

That was totally not by me.


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