our backs on moist grass
as clouds scattered that quiet night-
the cosmos smiled back.
I’ve never written a haiku before so I’d appreciate any feedback.
I have read a few articles on writing one and so far I gathered the following characteristics:
i) Juxtaposition of two ideas;
ii) Separated by a cutting word (kireji);
iii) If possible, include a seasonal word (kigo);
iv) Use sensory language – show what you saw, instead of telling what you feel;
v) Capable of being expressed in one breath.
vi) Typically in a 5-7-5 syllable format.
And… I’ve tried to incorporate them as best as I could. Still feels lacking though. 😦
p/s: for those who are curious, the art is based on an anime called Bakemonogatari, one of my favourites! Those who appreciate witty dialogue and smart wordplay will appreciate it! 🙂